


As I Am

by LovelyRose28



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Anxiety, Death, F/M, Family, Friendship, Love, Mourning, Recovery, Romance, Teens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyRose28/pseuds/LovelyRose28
Summary: Alice lived a family-oriented life. Her dad was her best friend and her mother was always by her side. When one accident leads to another, Alice is moved out to the town where she had the worst summer of her life. Adjusting to her new surroundings and dealing with her emotions feels like the hardest balancing act, but in wanting to make her family proud she decides to go back to school where she ends up meeting him. Jace doesn't have a perfect life but he definitely makes it worth while. Finding him felt as good as finding a needle in a haystack. The only thing keeping Alice from moving on with her life was one secret. that can change it all. Something happened the night of her dad's funeral. Ignorance is bliss but sooner or later she's going to have to come to term with the reality.
Relationships: Alice Cowen and Jace Mitchell, Alice and Jace, Austin Wallace and Sage Harvey, Ric Cowen and Jasmine Cowen
Kudos: 1





	As I Am

**Author's Note:**

> *This is my story, my characters, my imagination. I've had this book idea in my head for years. I haven't written it yet because I am afraid that I wont depict what's in my head onto words but I can always try. First actual book I am going to try to write, enjoy*

I never told them this but there’s a giant hole on my wall hidden behind my _Queen_ poster. I’m not exactly sure how it got there but I knew they’d want an explanation and I just didn’t have one. I had planned on telling them one day.  
  
  
You always think that there are going to be more days. More chances. More Spaghetti Wednesday’s.  
  
  
I am standing in this room right now, that is no longer mine, and my legs feel like dry cement stuck to the floor.  
  
  
I don’t know if I can do this. I don't want to do this.  
  
  
“It’s time to go now. I’ll put your things in the car” She says startling me. She grabs my bags from my hands. I wait for her to exit the room before I take both letter out of my back pocket. Knowing no one will come in except for _her_. I leave the letters under my pillow. One for her and the other one for me. Believing in that one day.  
  
  
After a couple seconds, I surprise myself by taking a step closer to the door. After that first step, the second step followed and so on until I was standing in the door way. My finger traces the marks that were there from every time they measured my height. I walk pass the kitchen and then the family room and finally the front door.  
  
  
I make sure to tell myself not to look back.  
  
  
The ride to the airport felt shorter than I thought it would. I know it had to do with me thinking about this new life I will have in a town I have known since I was little and feels so wrong to me now.  
  
  
Before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye to Liz. She had walked me as far as she was allowed to.  
  
  
“Thank you, Liz. For everything” her expression tells me that she wasn’t expecting me to say that. Part of me feels very guilty for why she’d react like that. “You have helped me so much and I didn't want to see it that way before but now I do. You were doing your job. Even when I cried and did what I wasn't supposed to, you never gave up.” I look down and find that my vision is blurring. “Trying to convince myself that this is for the best, has been one of the hardest things. But having to accept that she hates me feels like I’m…”  
  
  
“She doesn’t hate you.” Liz interrupts me. She places her hand on my shoulder but without thinking I jerk away.  
  
  
“You don’t know that.” I say close to a whisper. That line has been said to me before. It always sounds like the person saying it is trying to convince themselves rather than me.  
  
  
"She will always love you. She’s just in a very bad place right now. You both went through a lot and she made very bad decisions but is working to better herself now" I close my eyes, lower my head, and focus on my breathing. She pauses for a little before continuing. “Alice, I know everything feels hard right now and it feels easier to just give up. I know you feel like no one understands, and that you are alone and finding motivation to do things feels damn near to impossible. But I want you to know that continuing to try and pushing through and not only for them but for you will feel so rewarding. One day you are going to feel so proud of yourself and like nothing can stop you. I know you will because you are so strong.”  
  
  
"Now boarding Group 2 on United Airlines flight 243 to Charmington Internationals" We hear the flight attendant announce in the intercom.  
  
  
As I drop my things to give her a hug, I force myself to stop thinking for a moment. I grab my things and let my legs go on autopilot and before I realize it I was almost at the gate. I don't turn around to say 'bye' to Liz. I think we both know that hug was it.  
  
  
I was leaving home, not knowing when I'll return and that thought alone scared me more than anything.


End file.
